Well first off, we had the best weekend this past weekend. Going to see Thomas was wonderful (although the ride could have been better!) but just spending that time with the family was a nice thing, especially on a Friday afternoon. I really feel blessed that my husband is self employed and is able to take time of whenever he wants to and he doesn't have to miss out on family activities.
Now...on to mom guilt. I'm watching Dr. Phil and he's got the old debate of working moms vs. stay at home moms and it's such a touchy and difficult subject. On one hand, I do think that the most important job in the world is being a parent and in my opinion it is best to stay at home and raise you children. No one can raise your child better than you can, hands down. No one will love Simon more than me, no one will give him more kisses and hugs and cuddles more than me. It's important to me to have this time and we have given up a tremendous amount in order for me to say home. We've got a nice home, nice car, nice things but it hasn't been without struggle. Yes we have a little bit of debt, we can't go on vacations regularly and there are a lot of things that we miss out on so we don't have to miss out on Simon.
Now...on the other hand. There are just some things that parents MUST do in order to survive and working is one of them. Sometimes parents have to make difficult decisions and sometimes that requires working. That is a sacrifice that some moms have to make in order to make ends meet or to meet a goal or whatever. In no way do I ever think that a mom loves her children less because she's working. In fact, I know a lot of moms who loves their children dearly and work to give them the best of the best and that is what is most important to them. No parent wants their child to want for anything so they're going to sacrifice their time to ensure their children are taken care of and how can you argue with that? How is living in poverty just for the sake of staying at home helping children? It's not!
I don't understand the judgment from either end. Being a parent is difficult enough without judgment and it's important just to support one another no matter the situation. My mom worked 95% of my childhood and I was at a top notch daycare and loved it!! I had an awesome time and I was very blessed my parents were able to afford such a great institution and I have very fond memories of my daycare. If I ever had to work, I would love for Simon to stay at a place like that and you know, it may have been better for me to be in daycare.
To be honest, sometimes kids will get a better mom when she does work! I liken it to breastfeeding. Would we all like to breastfeed and give our kids the best? YES! But...sometimes we're unable to for whatever reason. For me, I lost a lot of blood and my milk never came in. I tried for five weeks to breastfeed. I had women who never even breastfed in their lives tell me how to breastfeed and it never worked. I was made to feel like less of a mom because I couldn't do it and I badgered myself for weeks! My poor baby was hungry and I wasn't enjoying the first few weeks of his life so I said "F them!" and formula fed and I do not regret it one bit. Why? Because although (according to these BF Nazi's) I was giving my child "poison" and didn't "try" enough, he was eating like no ones business, thriving and most importantly, he had a happy and less stressed out mother.
Sometimes moms who work are not working just for money but for mental stability and mental stimulation and when they work, they become better people. The important thing is a happy, well adjusted child and what does it matter how they get there? Working mom, stay at home mom...we all are doing the best that we can and we all need to do what is best for us and our families!
Now...on to mom guilt. I'm watching Dr. Phil and he's got the old debate of working moms vs. stay at home moms and it's such a touchy and difficult subject. On one hand, I do think that the most important job in the world is being a parent and in my opinion it is best to stay at home and raise you children. No one can raise your child better than you can, hands down. No one will love Simon more than me, no one will give him more kisses and hugs and cuddles more than me. It's important to me to have this time and we have given up a tremendous amount in order for me to say home. We've got a nice home, nice car, nice things but it hasn't been without struggle. Yes we have a little bit of debt, we can't go on vacations regularly and there are a lot of things that we miss out on so we don't have to miss out on Simon.
Now...on the other hand. There are just some things that parents MUST do in order to survive and working is one of them. Sometimes parents have to make difficult decisions and sometimes that requires working. That is a sacrifice that some moms have to make in order to make ends meet or to meet a goal or whatever. In no way do I ever think that a mom loves her children less because she's working. In fact, I know a lot of moms who loves their children dearly and work to give them the best of the best and that is what is most important to them. No parent wants their child to want for anything so they're going to sacrifice their time to ensure their children are taken care of and how can you argue with that? How is living in poverty just for the sake of staying at home helping children? It's not!
I don't understand the judgment from either end. Being a parent is difficult enough without judgment and it's important just to support one another no matter the situation. My mom worked 95% of my childhood and I was at a top notch daycare and loved it!! I had an awesome time and I was very blessed my parents were able to afford such a great institution and I have very fond memories of my daycare. If I ever had to work, I would love for Simon to stay at a place like that and you know, it may have been better for me to be in daycare.
To be honest, sometimes kids will get a better mom when she does work! I liken it to breastfeeding. Would we all like to breastfeed and give our kids the best? YES! But...sometimes we're unable to for whatever reason. For me, I lost a lot of blood and my milk never came in. I tried for five weeks to breastfeed. I had women who never even breastfed in their lives tell me how to breastfeed and it never worked. I was made to feel like less of a mom because I couldn't do it and I badgered myself for weeks! My poor baby was hungry and I wasn't enjoying the first few weeks of his life so I said "F them!" and formula fed and I do not regret it one bit. Why? Because although (according to these BF Nazi's) I was giving my child "poison" and didn't "try" enough, he was eating like no ones business, thriving and most importantly, he had a happy and less stressed out mother.
Sometimes moms who work are not working just for money but for mental stability and mental stimulation and when they work, they become better people. The important thing is a happy, well adjusted child and what does it matter how they get there? Working mom, stay at home mom...we all are doing the best that we can and we all need to do what is best for us and our families!
No comments:
Post a Comment